My fiancee and I went to Commander Night again last night, and a friend of mine, HM, decided he'd come along. He's been playing since 1994, and has an extensive collection, but the bulk of said collection is in storage in Vancouver. So, I loaned him my Kaalia of the Vast deck and we headed downtown.
We got two games in, our fourth player being a guy I'll call C, who's a pretty cool guy. He's a psychology student that looks and dresses like Duff McKeegan, which is sort of random, but I'm a Guns n' Roses fan, and the world needs more psychologists/psychiatrists that people can connect to. The four of us had a couple of great games, and it was an excellent opportunity to relax. C won the first game with combo Karn, and I won the second by exiling Venser, the Sojourner off the top with Chandra, Pyromaster and casting him with my last 5 mana. Unblockable for just enough to prevent HM from winning, and then I finished off C the next turn.
So, it was a good evening, as many of the usual "problem people" weren't there. Which was the main topic of discussion when HM, my Fiancee, and I went to a nearby Starbucks for a coffee after Commander Night.
We regaled HM with my fiancee's experience some weeks ago, where she was cheated out of a likely win. This led to a discussion about a distinct lack of diversity in the local Commander community, and of the community as a whole here.
The community here is disproportionately large for such a small town. This is largely due to our proximity to three large cities that often get GPs and PTs, and the presence of a major university. But for such a large community, my fiancee is the only regular Commander player, and there are maybe half a dozen women that play Magic on even a semi-regular basis in public, spread across three stores.
This isn't indicative of a healthy community.
I'd say there are several factors in this. The first would be the misogynistic attitude of some of the more "neckbeardy" players. Calling female players "bitches," making kitchen-related comments, and a general attitude of condescension isn't exactly the way to encourage more women to come out to things like Commander Night. I'd say getting hit on by these same people in the next breath can't be helping, either.
Logically, many local female players have joined the local chapter of the Lady Planeswalker Society, or LPS. My understanding of the group is that they're a somewhat exclusive club that encourages women to play in a welcoming and safe environment. Some chapters allow men, the one here does not. They tend to meet at private residences or bars/restaurants to cube draft or play Commander, and avoid all of the shops in town. While I'd agree that this solution makes sense, it's pretty sad. A large demographic of Magic players doesn't feel safe or welcome to play in public, and that says a lot about the local community.Closing themselves off and forming an exclusive group is the unfortunate second problem; how do we reach out as a community?
And while the problem exists elsewhere, this is the worst I've ever seen it. In Kingston, the local meta was more welcoming; I recall a few female regulars that consistently placed well at FNM. And I had the opportunity to play Magic in Hawaii for the Born of the Gods prerelease, and there were as many women playing as there were men. Women who were by all accounts highly attractive, but I didn't hear of one instance where a female player was made to feel uncomfortable or unwelcome because of her gender. There, it was par for the course, and the community there was thriving.
I don't understand why the community here is as unwelcoming as it is. The province in which we live is well known for being liberal and progressive, as is the city. So why isn't our Magic community that way? There are only 2 or 3 individuals that tend to be excessively negative toward women, and while I agree that one such person is too many, surely this group can't be the sole reason that most women don't want to play in public here.
It's hard to say. There are players here that rub everyone the wrong way, and maybe the two groups combined are enough to damage the community. As a Magic player that solely plays Commander, I have to deal with much less crap than a female player that plays the same amount. I might have to deal with an annoying trade guy, that can't grasp that people will trade with him when the game ends. I might have to deal with the guy that will wander off in the middle of a game to go next door for pizza. I might even have to deal with the highschool kid that has a super original 5-Colour Planeswalker deck he "invented" that's "so awesome." But a female player has to deal with all of the regular problems a community faces, plus the comments, catcalls, and comtempt a select few reserve for those with the second X-chromosome.
I can see why it might be too much.
Hell, me presuming to guess at the problem might even be an issue.
But how to repair the damage?
My main goal is to grow the Magic community, and by extension, the Commander meta here in town. I'd love to see more players coming out every Tuesday to cast giant creatures and ridiculous spells. I'm not saying they must be women, but if we have female players playing Commander anyway, why not try to mend the rift?
It will be a challenge, but with the right ambassador, and getting on track as group by not tolerating intolerance, maybe we can get there.
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